Fakebook Quotes - MOZELIAK : Alright, thanks, everyone, for being here. First of all, I'd like to just say that all of you did a really great job out there. Shane—four for 11, that's a great average, right? And Francisco, you definitely pitched out there, I'll say that. Lots of pitches, too, so everybody saw it. ...

MOZELIAK Alright, thanks, everyone, for being here. First of all, I'd like to just say that all of you did a really great job out there. Shane—four for 11, that's a great average, right? And Francisco, you definitely pitched out there, I'll say that. Lots of pitches, too, so everybody saw it.

But of course that's not the reason I've gathered all of you here. It's the middle of March—we're coming up fast on the regular season. And I have to reassign six of you to minor league camp. It's going to be really tough on me, and I'm sure we'll see all of you guys soon enough, but for now some of you are—
7 hours agoComment Like

LARUSSA —fired.

7 hours ago

MOZELIAK —reassigned.

6 hours ago

LARUSSA Did you see The Apprentice was back on? Bill Goldberg is in it. Every time he does something I hope he uses the Jackhammer on somebody, but he never does.

6 hours ago

MOZELIAK Look, Tony, I'm going to use reassigned. These guys might be future Cardinals.

5 hours ago

LARUSSA Basically, when Donald Trump fires Bill Goldberg, and he does the hand thing, I hope Goldberg does the Jackhammer on him.

5 hours ago

MOZELIAK I'm going to get back to the reassigning.

5 hours ago

ROBINSON Good. Francisco's so nervous he threw up. I don't know how he managed, but, like, on me.

5 hours ago

MOZELIAK I'm sorry, Francisco, but no matter how close you get to St. Louis you'll never find a regular spot in a bullpen when you walk a batter an inning. You'll always be a threat to break camp as a Cardinal when you throw that hard, but it's a bad move to start one by inadvertently hitting the clubhouse.

4 hours ago

LARUSSA What he means is, you're fired.

4 hours ago

MOZELIAK What I mean is that he'll probably be stuck in the minor leagues until he gets his K:BB ratio above two. Which shouldn't be an issue when he strikes out ten guys per nine.

4 hours ago

FRANCISCO I'll be back, I promise, God as my witness.

3 hours ago

MOZELIAK I'm sure, Frankie, I'm sure. The door is—no, over there—to your right—just, just keep looking, you'll find it eventually. Other right.

2 hours ago

DUNCAN Next on the list is Floyd Norrick.

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK Floyd Norrick? Do we know any Floyd Norricks?

2 hours ago

LARUSSA He's not in this room, and he's definitely not on The Apprentice.

2 hours ago

NORRICK It's—It's Tyler Norrick. Floyd is my first name, and it still appears on certain baseball websites—usually the ones relating to my draft status.

2 hours ago

LARUSSA Tyler Norrick isn't ringing any bells, either.

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK No.

2 hours ago

NORRICK Mr. Mozeliak, you drafted me. Mr. La Russa, you've put me into games. Mr. Duncan, I've brought you coffee and donuts every day for the last month.

2 hours ago

DUNCAN I'm sorry. It's embarrassing—for all of us, you know.

2 hours ago

NORRICK That's it. I'm following Francisco right out that door.

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK We'll get you both an usher. The next on my list is... Daryl Jones. I'm sure you'll be back soon, Daryl—just keep up the good work. The 2008 good work, I mean. The guys in front of you are all fourth outfielders, but you? You've got the chance to be something more.

2 hours ago

JONES Sir—uh. What about Matt Holliday?

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK You'll... well, you'll only be 30 by the time his contract runs out.

2 hours ago

LARUSSA Hey, when Matt Holliday was 30 he got a $120 million contract!

2 hours ago

JONES I'm gonna go lift some weights.

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK Then we have... I'm sorry to say it's Bryan Anderson.

2 hours ago

DUNCAN Oh, God, Matt Pagnozzi? So soon?

2 hours ago

LARUSSA Moz, you know I love you, but cutting Matt Pagnozzi? I'm going to have to put my foot down. Matt, you're not fired.

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK No, no. Bryan Anderson. He's the one who hits for a decent average with a few walks and a few doubles.

2 hours ago

ANDERSON If it helps, I'll be anybody.

2 hours ago

LARUSSA Look, I don't care how many times you try to do it, Moz, Matt Pagnozzi stays in this camp. I like what you're doing, though, this'll be a ratings bonanza.

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK Next—next on the list is Mark Hamilton. Mark, we really like your bat, and I, personally, was excited to see that .900 OPS after all those years in the wilderness. But right now there isn't really a spot for it in the lineup. We've got a guy on first base.

2 hours ago

LARUSSA And at third catcher!

2 hours ago

HAMILTON I could—I could play left field.

2 hours ago

JONES Nah, man.

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK It's—there's plenty of room for you in Memphis, I mean, so there's that.

2 hours ago

ROBINSON Guys?

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK Yeah?

2 hours ago

ROBINSON You—you guys should have put more than six guys in the room when you did this.

2 hours ago

LARUSSA Yeah, I suppose so.

2 hours ago

ROBINSON I feel like I'm probably next. I know, I know. I don't hit enough to be a Major League outfielder, Jon Jay is ahead of me on the depth chart, etc. etc. I'm working on second base and I'm covered in Francisco Samuel's nervousness, so—I'm gonna just catch you guys later.

2 hours ago

MOZELIAK Well.

2 hours ago

LARUSSA Personally, I think that went pretty well. 2 hours ago

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